Building Habits Through Consistency

How do you build consistency when inconsistency is an inherent part of your life?

I’ve heard it said that in order to build good habits you shouldn’t rely on motivation, because that waxes and wanes. Instead, you should focus on consistency.

That’s great in theory, and I don’t know about you, but I’m not great with consistency, for a few reasons. For one, I’ve got an energy-limiting health condition. I don’t know from one day to the next how I can show up for even the most basic elements of my life, never mind building new habits. For another, my day job schedule is not always consistent. Day-to-day the tasks are often very different, and I often have to travel for differing amounts of time.

I also really struggle with an all-or-nothing sense of perfectionism. That means that if I don’t feel I can meet something perfectly enough (i.e. Complete a certain habit every day of the week), I’ll likely not do it at all. If I miss a day, even if the reasons are completely understandable and unavoidable, I’ll feel like I failed and I won’t try again the next day.

It means that over the years I’ve started and stopped a fair amount of habits, but with the things I’m juggling in life right now (full-time job, part-time side hustle and a PhD), I need to ensure I’ve got exceptional organisation and great systems in place.

So how am I turning things around?

Firstly, I’m using my professional skills on myself. I’m a trained coach, so I’m scheduling self-check ins, the same way as I would with any client. I’m making goals, I’m breaking them down, and I’m having honest conversations with myself about how I can challenge my perfectionism. I’m bringing in my training in psychology to adapt the concepts of self-compassion, radical self-honesty, and a growth mindset to challenge my perfectionism and the inconsistency of my schedule. I’m leaning into my values, and I’m rewarding myself for progress.

Every week, I’m sitting down with myself the same as if I was any other client. I have two sessions - a coaching session, and a planning session. I also build in buffer time and flexibility to allow for changes I can’t foresee.

Some of it is that stepping outside myself empowers me to take the intensity away from that perfectionism drive. But some of it is for the very reasons I trained to become a coach, and for the reasons I aim to help others - coaching practice works. If you are open to the process, the skills a coach can bring, combined with your own, sometimes untapped knowledge of yourself, can create powerful change.

I’m a trained coach in higher education. I’m using those skills to take me though my PhD, and if you’re interested, I can use those skills to help you too - I work with staff and students at all levels and areas of higher education! Check me out here for more information (I’ve often got pro-bono sessions available too!)